Sonny Bill Williams says he let his Sydney Roosters teammates down by picking up a three-game suspension for a shoulder charge on South Sydney's George Burgess.
Williams returns to action on Friday when the Roosters face his former club Canterbury at Allianz Stadium in Sydney.
The New Zealand superstar admits it's been difficult watching from the sidelines and said he feels extra responsibility to perform following last Friday's loss to Manly.
Williams was sanctioned in the second half of the Round 1 loss to Souths and said he had no issues with the ban.
"I think it was a bit of frustration with the way the game went, we didn't play so well," Williams said.
"We said at halftime no penalties from the kick off and I just had the red mist and those kind of things happen. I am just happy it happened at the start of the season.
"I have been training hard and ready now to get out there and play."
The Roosters have lost just once in the six games Williams has missed since returning to the NRL last year and the back-rower acknowledges he can't expect to walk straight back into the team.
"With Mitch Aubusson in there and doing so well I have to get back in and cement my spot," he said.
"The good thing about the Roosters is that it doesn't matter who you are, you have to play well to keep your spot."
The Roosters will be without Jared Waerea-Hargreaves for Friday's game after he was charged with a grade one careless high tackle on Manly's Glenn Stewart.
Waerea-Hargreaves will miss one game with a guilty plea and two if he fights the charge and fails.
"He should have got three games like me!" Williams joked.
"He's a big part of our team big Jezza, and when you miss someone like that it is always a blow.
"It's up to the other boys to now step up."
Although he was arguably the finest exponent of the shoulder charge Williams accepts it has no place in the modern game.
"The rule has been set in place now for a year now and the stance they have taken I don't mind," he said.
"They've been pretty harsh on it, you can't target the head ... but as long as they keep it like that for the rest of the season.
"Times have changed, you have to move forward."