The Sharkies' 48-year-plan
Old mate Phil Gould believes the Sharks "fluffed their lines" against Manly last weekend – that it was our most important game of the season and we blew it completely. It seems he is not alone.
I would say most NRL fans believe the Sharkies are a bit of a joke too, coming into the competition in 1967 and failing to stack any sort of statue into the Shire's lonely trophy cabinet.
Well, what people do not realise is that the Sharks, like the predators they are named after, have actually been biding their time in the murky water, waiting for the right moment to pounce.
It's all part of a grand '48-year-plan', to finally win the competition in 2015 and then go on to dominate the league for a solid decade. It is only the insiders that know of this plan, but I am happy to share it with the loyal readers of NRL.com. That's right, Harold Holt will soon be found at Northies, rejoicing, for we left the light on and he came on home.
And don't think the cabinet is completely empty people. You may remember a brilliant victory against a combined Brisbane outfit in the 1979 mid-week competition, namely the Amco Cup, in which Kurt Sorensen and Steve Rogers led the boys to a convincing victory in front of 15,800 people at Leichhardt Oval. Also, the Mermaids, previously known as the Sharkettes, have won a few cheerleading prizes, I am sure of it, I'd just have to Google it and it would be there.
But this year people, this year – and I can feel it in my bones – is our year. This is the Year of the Shark, and everything that has led up to this Sunday has been intentional.
The Rabbitohs are like a floating group of Mick Fannings lost in a South African sea, as our Great Whites come to pounce this weekend at Allianz, a stadium that can surely only get bigger, in my eyes at least.
I cannot see the depleted outfit of red and green being able to stop the Sharks forwards. Especially without George Burgess, who on the weekend got his water bottle out for the second time in as many years, possibly in a more discrete way this time, but nonetheless copping a two-week ban.
In our game it seems you are allowed to headbutt a guy a bit, throw your leg out, even give a bloke a bit of a slap and a tickle, but if you hurl an empty water bottle at a guy and miss him, you're in strife. And fair enough, after all, it is littering Georgie, and we are trying to set a good example for the kiddies.
The only way the Sharks will lose this weekend is if Greg Inglis remembers he was once as exciting as Jarryd Hayne, and single-handedly puts on a football show for everyone to see.
Or, on the other hand, if Paul Gallen, as he often does in high-stakes situations, makes like a workaholic and tries to do it all himself. There are some very special, fast, exciting kids in the Sharkies pool, so let's give them the ball Paul, give them the ball. If only to hear commentators scream out the words "Valentiiiiiine Hoooooomes" once more, for in terms of a grammatical pairing it is music to the rugby league ear.
It's been a hell of a few years for the boys from Cronulla and their fans too, but none of the drama has been insignificant; every blow, every setback, every damning article has only made us stronger, but now it is our football that people are ogling, not our tabloid newspaper presence, or casual court appearances.
There are some special players in the outfit, namely Luke Lewis, who I think is perhaps the most unsung player/hero going around. He runs the sweetest lines in attack, is brutal and instinctive in attack, and one can tell has an infectious, positive energy around the playing group – a group that now plays for each other, and really is the Little Engine that can.
Last time we faced the Rabbits the Sharks put on a mighty show in what was a storm of biblical proportions, earning the name 'Sharknado'.
The effort was brave, wild, and seemingly insane with fans forced to wear scuba gear in order to survive the event, but we came away with the points, and we know we can do it again, in whatever type of weather the Gods may throw our way.
For we are the Sharkies. The Mighty Sharkies, and we are hunting down our prey; the ever elusive floating surfer that is the NRL Telstra Premiership.
Brendan Cowell is an Australian actor, writer, director and a mad Cronulla Sharks fan. Brendan's latest project is the highly acclaimed film Ruben Guthrie.
The views in this article are those of the author and may not reflect those of the NRL or NRL.com.