'I forgive myself': How Pangai has come to terms with Origin fallout
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“One mistake is not going to define me”.
Tevita Pangai Junior still regrets the wayward offload that led to a Queensland try in his Origin debut but hearing from I4Give Foundation founder Danny Abdallah ahead of Monday’s match against the Eels has given him a better perspective.
Pangai has been criticised for his performance, with former NSW prop Mark Carroll questioning whether his first Origin would also be his last but the Bulldogs prop has drawn inspiration from Abdallah.
Abdallah, whose three children and niece were run down by a drunk driver at Oatlands in 2020, addressed Canterbury players on Thursday and told them they had to forgive themselves for mistakes on and off the field.
It’s a message that resonated with Pangai, who was replaced by Blues coach Brad Fittler after just nine minutes of his second half stint at Adelaide Oval in last week’s Origin series opener.
“It took a while to forgive myself for that one, but I'm just blessed that I have people around me that still back me - my club, my family, my parents, my wife,” Pangai said.
I forgive myself and hopefully my teammates forgive me, and we'll get on with it.
“We all make mistakes every day, we're not perfect, and I think that's what he's trying to get at it. It's a good cause and hopefully the nation takes a note out of his book.”
Despite his heartache, Abdallah has forgiven the driver who killed Antony 13, Angelina 12, eight-year-old Sienna and their cousin Veronique as they were walking to a nearby shop to buy ice-creams.
The Bulldogs and Eels now play for the I4Give Cup and the first match last year coincided with the end of a losing streak for Canterbury after Abdallah also spoke to the players.
“It was just about his story of what happened in 2020, it's pretty big and very inspirational for the boys,” Pangai said.
“He was talking more about forgiving others and it's not so much for the other person, it is for yourself. When you forgive others, it makes yourself feel better.
“You can take a lot out of it and the main thing that he said was ‘learn to forgive yourself, if it's on the footy field or off the field’.
“You make mistakes, but you have got to learn how to forgive yourself and get on with it.”
Pangai said he was still hopeful of retaining his place in the NSW team for Origin II at Suncorp Stadium and revealed a message Blues coach Brad Fittler had sent all the players after the match.
“He just sent a message to everybody, I think, on the group chat to say go work on the habits that we need to win and go back to clubland and be leaders for your club,” Pangai said.
“We're struggling at the moment, but it was refreshing to go there and come back and play with confidence.
“I'm just really, really appreciative and blessed that Freddy gave me a chance. I'll never forget that.
“Whether I'm in Game II or not, I will always be grateful to him and Brandy [Greg Alexander] for picking me and I feel like I've come back from that a better player, and I can bring my experiences to club land.
“It was a great week and it was just unfortunate that we didn't get the result at the end of it.”
The 27-year-old said his father and Bulldogs coach Cameron Ciraldo had provided great support for him after the disappointment of NSW’s 24-18 loss in Adelaide.
“My dad been really good for me, and my family and the club,” he said. “Ciro was really happy with my game - other than the offload. He said I could hold my head high and that I belonged in that level.”
